Posts Tagged ‘Food Porn’

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Red wine braised short rib, aleppo pepper polenta cake, caramelized pearl onion, oven-dried tomatoes, roasted asparagus

Honey Dijon Farro Salad with Sun-dried Tomatoes, Fontina Cheese, Flat Leaf Parsley

Honey Dijon Farro Salad with Sun-dried Tomatoes, Fontina Cheese, Flat Leaf Parsley

This is how you make a real bacon bowl!

This is how you make a real bacon bowl!

Gruyere and Caramelized Leek Couscous Stuffed Tomato with Porcini Mushrooms and Fennel

Gruyere and Caramelized Leek Couscous Stuffed Tomato with Porcini Mushrooms and Fennel

Arugula and Red Cabbage Salad with Maple Vinegrette, Roasted Pears, Caramelized Pearl Onions, Candied Walnuts, and Cheddar Chip

Arugula and Red Cabbage Salad with Maple Vinegrette, Roasted Pears, Caramelized Pearl Onions, Candied Walnuts, and Cheddar Chip

BACON!!!!!!!!!

BACON!!!!!!!!!

Grano Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette, Baby Kale, Red Onions, Diced Cherry Tomatoes, and BACON!

Grano Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette, Baby Kale, Red Onions, Diced Cherry Tomatoes, and BACON!

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Here are some of the things you need to do in order to have a hip and trendy new ‘food show’…

  • Make sure to talk extremely loud even though modern technology allows you to speak at a normal decibel level. Demand peoples attention.  (Thanks Billy Mays)
  • You need to walk around, drive, or take public transportation when traveling to your destination.  Make sure your camera man films you all jerky-like and off center.
  • Make fun of your guest or patrons allowing your ego to shine through to your audience.  You know how to cook their food better than them anyway.
  • Always make weird, loud noises when eating food.  Take gargantuan bites and allow food to drip down your arm.  Everything you eat is always the best ever!
  • Use descriptive words that don’t actually describe what you are eating.  ‘This is an extremely flavorful, super-awesome dish! It is bomb-diggity, monster-delicious, yum-yum food which will make you happy.’ (So what does it taste like?)
  • Let your audience know what the secret ingredients are to spoil the suspense.
  • Dip your unwashed hands into all of the items being prepared…sneezing would be better.
  • Interview all of the patrons who are most likely to give you a standard boring response. (This place is the best in town!)
  • Never discuss the long hours, hard work, low income, and failure rate of restaurants.  Your makeup person will hide the bags under the chefs eyes, and paint a smile on their face.
  • If someone isn’t as outgoing as you, make them feel uncomfortable.
  • If your guest doesn’t have a happy, sad, or funny backstory…don’t have them on the show.
  • Wear inappropriate clothing in the kitchen, such as excess jewelry, flip-flops, baggy cloths, and unbuttoned shirts.  Bring sexy back as well.
  • Don’t ever show anyone cleaning anything.
  • If it is not farm to table, it can’t possibly be good.

Does anyone else have any shenanigans to add???

I would like to state right here and now, that I am the originator of the ‘Burger Crusted Steak’.  I used the same burger meat I created yesterday, and packed it around a beef filet, then made magic happen.  This is how you do it…(dun da dun da dun dunnnnnnn):

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First you make your bacon bleu burger mix:

  • 2 pounds of 90/10 ground chuck (90% lean)
  • 1-1/2 pounds raw applewood smoked bacon (pureed in food processor into a paste)
  • 8 ounces gorgonzola cheese
  • 1 Tbsp. black pepper
  • 1 Tbsp. smoked paprika
  • 1 Tbsp. chili powder
  • 2 Tbsp. granulated garlic

Take a 6 ounce beef filet and flatten it to about 1/2 inch thickness, then season with salt.  Take your ground meat mixture, and liberally pack it around the steak:

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On a grill set to super high, grill for about 5 minutes on each side, turning 90° half way through:

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Place the burger-steak-beast on a small sheet tray, and bake in a 375°F oven for about 6 more minutes to have a nice medium-rare center (you can adjust your cooking time here to your preferred doneness).  Remove from oven and let sit for at least 5 minutes before cutting into this bad boy and having a party in your mouth!

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If  winning was a Bacon Bleu Cheeseburger Crusted Filet…this would be it.  Hopeful this starts a new trend with all the hipster-foodies out there, and I get the occasional shout-out.  \\..//

Bacon.

It is my favorite food group.  In a previous post I used bacon puree to make bacon chips.  I have taken bacon slime to new heights with what I like to call a ‘3B slider’.  I wanted to make the ultimate bacon slider using fresh blended bacon puree seen below. This is 100% real applewood smoked bacon pureed in a food processor.

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For the burger patty, I blended together:

 

  • 2 pounds of 90/10 ground chuck (90% lean)
  • 1-1/2 pounds of bacon puree
  • 8 ounces of Gorgonzola crumbles
  • 1 Tbsp. black pepper
  • 1 Tbsp. smoked paprika
  • 1 Tbsp. chili powder
  • 2 Tbsp. granulated garlic

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This mixture will be a lot looser than your average ground beef so I think it works best as a slider.  I formed these bad boys into small patties, then cooked them on a SUPER hot grill for about 1 minute and 30 seconds a side.  I assembled them on small dinner rolls with buffalo aioli, 2 hour caramelized onions, green leaf lettuce, and garlic pickle slices:

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Juicy and flavorful doesn’t even begin to describe these little nuggets of joy.  I also recommend cooking them to about medium well (yeah thats right!) to have a super nice crust to the patty.  You have a combo of salty and creamy from the bacon-gorgonzola patty, sweetness from the onions, and heat from the buffalo aioli.  You can thank me later.

Let me know what you use bacon puree in!